Nature or nurture: What would have happened?

It takes me almost no time to fall asleep. At times, I wish I was an insomniac. I'd probably have solved the world's problems. Because it seems my best thoughts often come in the four minutes between laying my head on the pillow and falling asleep.

Four minutes. Sometimes even fewer. That's all it takes for me to meet the Sandman. If I want to do some reading or praying, I better not lie down. If I'm horizontal, the clock is ticking. Couch, bed or floor -- makes no difference. I can fall asleep at house parties and in the passenger seat of a car.

But in those four minutes, my mind goes so many places. Why are there so many religions? Why can't I find raspberry ripple ice cream? Where did the third generation of humans come from? Who came up with the idea of curling anyway? What would an outside observer of earth say about us?

That last question sends me into far more introspective areas. War. Capital punishment. The drug trade. Mental illness. Criminal justice. Capitalism. Homelessness. Hunger.

Was it design or happenstance that determined where I would be born, who my parents would be, who I would marry? Does the God who knows me control everything about my life, or some things, or nothing? Do my prayers change anything, or do I change when I put myself in a position to listen, focus and change?

But my most curious questions stay on that destiny topic. Was I destined to be a Christian, a Lutheran? Under other circumstances, would I have a large family and condemn homosexuality? Could I have ended up working in a factory, or playing music for a living? What if I had gone to a different college, or if I had finished my degree in 1986? What if I still worked in the media?

I keep coming back to a design -- I'm here because the One who put the universe into motion, who made the earth and all of its diverse living things, who died for a creation with flaws, wants me where I am. And without his direction, things wouldn't have happened this way.

Because I believe, I can contemplate a day when I am in the presence of the One who knows all the answers. And because eternity is eternity, He won't mind my curious questions. He will expect them, because He knows me.