Did a client really ask for that?

I thought that every so often I ought to make a list of what callers ask at my office. As a nonprofit, we get some interesting questions and requests, but lately, things have taken a weird slant.

It is perfectly normal for our callers to ask for things like help with rent, utilities, food, clothing, fuel, laundry or medical costs. Generally speaking, not with plane or bus tickets, but we do get requests.

They've asked for car repairs and help to get dentures. We've occasionally helped people with class fees and certification testing to get or keep a job. We've obtained walkers and wheelchairs and even connected a woman with a locksmith for a lockout. We've been asked for all sorts of appliances, help paying off loans, and catching up with payments for storage units. Pretty much, those go beyond our scope of services.

Today, a lady came in and told us her sister died, and could she have her mail? Hmm, somehow, unless we have some documentation, we can't give someone's mail to anyone besides that person. Tomorrow, the sister could come in and ask for her mail and deny being dead, even for 24 hours.

We've been asked to pay vet bills and even spay and neuter pets. Somehow, we feel that people who can't afford pets probably should not have them. But generally, we steer them to the humane society, for potential low-cost services.

We don't get involved in fines or court cases. We don't pay for funeral or burial expenses. We don't translate. We don't resolve arguments between feuding spouses or clients. We don't tell callers whether a family member has received services. We don't tell teenagers their parents want them to come home now.

We help with some state forms, but generally, people are on their own as far as paperwork. Today a woman asked for help filling out a substitute teaching form. Heaven help our kids if a candidate for a substitute teaching job can't manage a form. Could she grade papers or teach?

And we don't do babysitting: for an hour or by the week. We've been asked if we will watch a child for an hour while a parent has an appointment or interview -- we just can't do that. Today, however, we never expected to be asked to watch a child for a week. It's a teen mom in the care of her grandparents. Could we watch the baby for a week while the three of them take a vacation? Because she's never had that experience. It would really be helpful.

No. We referred them to another agency, which was the agency that referred them to us. Nobody was quite sure what to do with that request.